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02 October Mood tidesOh how I love electricity. It was turned off because I thought I called in the bill but I forgot and in the summer they can turn it off for non-payement for three business days. The fact that they turned it off on Friday afternoon was cruel - though justified. Anyhow, I fully anticipated approaching the situation with grace and found unfortunately that by day three, I completely lacked any form of the mood as my hair stuck to my face and I found myself constantly wondering what on earth smelled until realizing that it was in merry-fact me. I continued in my funk of depression but now I had something concrete to focus it on and somehow that was helpful. Now that the electricity has been restored I honestly feel new hope for all things.
While admitting to this hope - I answer my home line phone. I never answer this phone, but got into the habit as it was my only form of communication when I couldn't charge the cell. It was Macy's. On painkillers from the accident years ago, my friend decided to take me on a shopping spree. Armed with a Macy's new card (i'd never had a credit card in my life), given to me by the chirpy saleswoman, we did quite some damage. I was carefree, thin from sickness, and generous buying my friend a garment for every one I chose. I continue, all these years later, to owe money for this moment. I might contact said friend but have since lost touch, but have heard through the grapevine that in this same period of time she has managed to produce four offspring. I find it amazing she was capable of so much production while our bill still exists. An amazing marking of time and wow interest rates.
I am pleasantly recharging my cell as I type. I can handle the mail but not the calls. Well, obviously I don't handle the mail very well either. Working on that. New priority. I honestly don't know how the Amish do it. The electric was more essentially needed than I had ever predicted. I wanted some warm tea or something and even as I pondered holding it above the candle - I was desperate. I also knew that I have no business starting a larger fire. I burn myself on lighters everytime I use one. Let alone even my dog watched the candles burning with a look of apprehension that I wouldn't remember to blow them out and remember that I had lit them. I shared the anxiety to the point that it became a mental obssession.
oh I have gone on long enough. I hope that everyone is having a great day. Fall is my favorite season despite the sorrow I feel when I smell deisel fuel and see those sad faces on the school bus. Gosh, I hated grade school. Even the smell of the plastic on a binder can make my throat tighten.
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