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21 May OH COME ON!!!!You gotta be kidding me! It is threatening to rain on my bulk pick up trash day!! I am trying to get like a million bags to the curb in turrential downpour! Come on universe I really need some help! This is a BIG day! I was so excited for this day to put everything on the curb for tomorrow morning pick up and its all gonna weigh like ten thousand wet pounds!!! No non, noooooo!!! I'm reinventing myself here! getting organized and huh? It's gotta be a test. Yes, a test and well a lesson never to let my life get this outta control! WOW!~ Come on! Now I get why my parents watch the weather channel I myself have always just left that up to higher powers and nothing I can do about it, but I suppose planning wise a little knowledge goes a long way. When the leaves blow and you see the underside someone told me that that definately means MORE rain - is that true? It could just be wind - right? Did you know that you shouldn't burn stuff on the grill? It causes carcinogins in the food. I always burn it. I, well, I thought that was "grilling". Good heavens. I think I need a nap. I can't - I am on a mission here - not giving up - trash be gone!!!! 19 May REstarting Restarting restartingOkay so as I try to change I note that my horoscope says something about just being happy and going with it - now that I am in the blog writing section I forget exactly what it said but basically it told me not to question the happiness. Okay. So. Well, that is hard not to do because you want to know what makes you happy so you can return to the feeling when the blues come along. But okay.
So I got this new core trainer thingy to stand on to help me regain more balance. It looks cool but I am scared to use it without an accomplice - to put an analogy to it, it woud be a bit like Lucille Ball attempting to cross-country ski! It has calamity written all over it! So I will wait for someone to assist. But I look forward to further inproving my once stellar balance which now stinks. The ice skating with helmet and all gear and ice rink patrol was fabulous but the rink is shut down for summer repairs until June something so that's out for a bit. It was amazing to be out there again although it did make me really realize the significant difference in my balance post injury but I was all for being back in the rink with a huge dorky smile on my face - with the exception of when the disco light went on and flashed off my helmet and made me look truly magical. THAT was something to behold. Although I embraced the sheer wit of it and pretended to be Dorothy Hamill in the spotlight! Reality is just a perception in many situations sometimes. Yes, I know that I am not really her obviously but I was making the best out of it and found the lighting to be an extra balance test.
It is bulk trash week and I can't say how mortified and excited I am at the same time. I have missed the date so many years that the bulk is more than bulk - it is actually a lifetime of trash. I feel like this is a metaphorical and literal "fresh" start. The stuff I am finding is at once like Christmas and also a ponderance of what the heck have I been doing???? Have I really been moving this stuff from city to city and paying to have it moved? IT is trash mostly and much moldy! ewwww. People check out other's trash for treasure and I want to put a warning sign on mine but fear it will attract more attention by accident. I do wish to somehow spare others the look however.
Work has been busy and I must say that I have been learning so much from the stories I am covering. After many assignments I am humbled and changed by the beauty of others. How we are all connected and similiar in heart, how there are so many different ways to live this life and percieve its peaks and valleys. It is overwhelming sometimes in all its magic.
Well, I have been alternating between wake and sleep these past few days of recuperating. Yesterday I tried coffee, and though I am a huge fan and constant diet pepsi drinker (gross I know and unhealthy and trying to quit), but I was surprised to find that coffee put me flat out ASLEEP!!! One of the mysteries of brain chemistry - it shocked my body straight into slumber. I'm so glad that I didn't try coffee while working - it would have been dreadful.
Have been reading Mary Williamson's Return to Love and I have to say that it is a life changing book. It has helped me much with anxiety and is absolutely a gift of a book. I really reccommend (I always spell that wrong).
Much love to you all and though I am going to take another nap. whew. I can't wait to stop by and read what is new with everyone! Hugs. Patti
05 May ExhaustedTotally exhausted - will write more later - can't wait to visit you all and see what's up! Happy Spring! Love, Patti |
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